Mad-Lib--Speaking of Speaking

Here is a Mad-Lib that we did on the way to the capital [the bold words are the blanks that we filled].
A recent agitated poll shows that the majority of people are terrified of public loving. They would rather walk across burning ash trays or swim in boy-infested waters than give a speech in front of a group of girls. This weird fear can be overcome in five easy braces:
1. Organize all of your sharks on a piece of rail.
2. Remember to start your speech with a funny glass.
3. When speaking, look your audience straight in the forearm and speak in a strong and strange voice.
4. Be simple. Never use black words that are over the audience's nostril.
5. Always keep a pitcher of nail polish next to you, in case your earlobe goes dry.